So there’s this thing called the Bone Clone. It lets you make a cast of your erect penis, and then fill it in with silicone rubber. I made one as a Christmas present for April, but now that we split, I just have this replica of my penis sitting in my closet. Anybody want it?
Well. It was good while it lasted. Real good. Thank you for that.
let’s smoke weed about it
*drink
Fuck long distance relationships. They fucking suck. They consist of unfulfilled desires: if only we could go catch a planetarium show at The Adventure Science Center together, if only we could play Yu-Gi-Oh! at the library with our friends, if only we could play Tetris games against each other,…
FUCKING GPOY, BEN. FUCKING G P O Y
I thought you would appreciate it lol
Why would anyone want to be a cat? Oral sex would suck (no pun intended) if one were a cat.
Fuck long distance relationships. They fucking suck. They consist of unfulfilled desires: if only we could go catch a planetarium show at The Adventure Science Center together, if only we could play Yu-Gi-Oh! at the library with our friends, if only we could play Tetris games against each other, after which the winner gets to make out with the loser, if only we could cram for big tests together, if only we could share a half gallon of ice cream while we watch sappy chick flicks, if only we could fucking hold hands. You often lull yourself into a false sense of happiness fantasizing about these things.. until you realize that you can’t fucking do any of them. The thing is you don’t want to do them with anyone else. You just want to do them with that special someone, so you get the fuck over it, take advantage of today’s technology, make sure she knows how much she means to you, and hold on to the hope that you might someday get a small taste of what it’s truly like to be boyfriend and girlfriend.
On a related note, I know orgasm faces are supposedly super hot and stuff, but I really can’t imagine mine being attractive ._. I feel like I make the most disgusting face possible.
After I masturbate, I always get this healthy glow about my skin and a subtle twinkle in my eyes. Maybe my outlook on everything is just so greatly improved after partaking in such a beautiful experience.
Shit happens.
